Thank you, Hayley

On this last day of 2016, I want to name 10 things I am thankful to my daughter for.

1. Thank you for giving me this ULTRA BIG SMILE when i wake up every morning.

2. Thank you for accepting didi so readily. Whenever i facetime with you, you ask where is didi. When you come home, you find didi to say hello. When you are about to sleep, you say good night didi.

3. Thank you for eating most of the food i painstakingly cook for you. Seriously, sometimes the food dun even look appetising to me.

4. Thank you for running straight to me when you were frightened by the thunder.

5. Thank you for loving and appreciating all the DIY materials i made for you. I was never an art&craft person so making those stuff require lots of effort haha.

6. Thank you for forgiving me when i lost my patience with you. I feel terribly sorry after every incident. You forgive and forget even faster than i do it with myself.

7. Thank you for giving me a hug whenever i am feeling down.

8. Thank you for thinking of me even when you are having fun with your papa outside. He took a video of you at the bouncing castle and you wanted to "妈妈看".

9. Thank you for always saying "mama, hold hand" and drag me to share your experiences with me. 

10. Thank you for being me daughter, to give me a chance to go thru motherhood and make me want to be a better person cos i want to set a good example for you.

I am going through an especially difficult time now learning to manage an active toddler and an infant who wakes up at the slightest noise. No matter what, I am grateful for what is happening and I look forward to 2017!

Now I challenge you to write down at least 3 things you are thankful your children for. I would love to see your thank you notes too =D

Respectful parenting, follow ur child's cues

Every weekday morning routine is for both parents to get ourselves ready for work then send Hayley over to her grandparents' place. As the distance is not far, she usually has her milk as their house.

However this morning Hayley demanded for milk. I almost brushed her off and told her to have it at her grandma's place. I am so glad I didn't do this. It turned out she was really hungry and she finished her milk in a jiffy!

If I had ignored her cues, I can imagine she will cry and fuss and we will end up with a bad morning...

It is not so hard or does not take so much time listening to a toddler after all!

Hayley's 2 days in school

Hello #babyahgohgoh , you have officially become the youngest school dropout. 😱 #onlytwodaysofschool

On Monday morning, 我们兴致勃勃地一起去上学。And everything was going on so fine. You waved hello and smiled to everyone. When a boy in your class was crying, you said to me "baby cry" and you walked over to sayang him. #alwaysmysweetbaby

We then left you to be alone with the class as you were engrossed in one of your fav activities (transferring pasta from bowl to bowl). When we came back 1h later, the teacher said you notice we were not around bout 30min after we left. And cos in playground, when one kid cries, the rest follows, so they had no choice but to put you alone in a K2 classroom. I walked into the room and saw you at a table, alone, hugging your pillow, sucking your thumb. When you saw me, you cried "mama" and hugged me so tight. #heartbroken

Your papa and i had a discussion that night. Besides the crying which we had expected, we were more concerned with the disorganization in a class of 18mth olds and 2 teachers. With one hyper active kid and another constantly crying for mama, basically the 2 teachers had their hands full. The other ok students were left stoning or playing toys on their own. Not criticizing the preschool. We understand that it is simply impossible for all 8 of them to sit down quietly to even finish a book. So the situation was more like a childcare, looking after the needs of the kids, not learning anythingy much. 

We decided hayley shall start school later. Cos maybe unlike other families who have no one to help look after the kid, we have 2 sets of over zealous grandparents haha. Hubby also said hayley learn more stuff with them too cos i am very strict with the schedules and activities they have to do with her lol.

This decision was made not without a struggle. I have always been a perfectionist mum. When i buy a toy for hayley, i am upset if she does not play it the way it should be played. When i carry out a montessori activity with her, i get disheartened if she does not show interest. Thankew for hubby who has always been here to give me support and always say "hayley will do the acitivity right someday, just go along with the mess for now". Same for this preschool situation. I envision hayley learn more stuff in school, learn to be independent and socialise well with the other kids. It did not seem to happen in the class. I was super sad and guilty and wondered if i had made a right choice for her. Once again, hubby was here to show me the light! "Let hayley be happy as long as she can", he says.

So now, we are back to the same routine. Dear school, see you in one year's time. Hayley and mama promise to be stronger then!

My Affinity with Montessori

As first-time parents, hubby and I were clueless about how to look after a newborn. We read up books/magazine and googled A LOT. As I was researching on a suitable preschool for Hayley, I came across this big word:

Montessori

1.    Independence
"   "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed." - Maria Montessori.

2.    Observation

With no perceived ideas, observe the child. We do not tell them the “correct” way of playing. We simply sit back and see what he will do.

3.    Follow the child
    If they want to climb, give them the chance to climb in a safe manner, do not be overprotective.

4.    Correcting the child

Children make mistakes. When they spill drinks or drop food unintentionally, do not scold them. Instead take this as a good opportunity to teach them practical skills – cleaning up with mess with a cloth.

5.    Prepared environment
T  This is important and is the link for a child to learn from adults. Child-sized rooms with activities are set up. The environment is beautiful and safe to invite the child to work and allow freedom of movement. 

6.    Absorbent mind

Children under the age of three pick up everything in the environment by experiencing it. That is why we do not always say “no” to a child because we do not want him to say “no” to us rudely. Instead we say “stop” on things we do not approve.

I was very interested in this method of teaching as this is exactly the way I wish to develop my kids. I hope they will grow to become creative and independent individuals.

Coincidentally I have been practicing Montessori style without me realizing it!

Sleeping Habits

Before Hayley was born, we prepared a comfortable cot for her. And due to space constraint in our room, we decided co-sleeping is impossible and had placed the cot in a separate room. This arrangement is very good for me who is a light sleeper. There was one night Hayley was not feeling well so we brought her into our room to co-sleep for one night. That night was torturous for me. I jumped at every movement from her and I was so tempted to check on her every 5 minutes. And just two months after her birth, we realized she does not sleep well in the cot, not sure if the environment is too warm for her. Very soon we switched to using a floor bed for her and we never looked back.

Hayley at 7mth old. She had the freedom to move around on her own when she woke up every morning. At 7mth old, she was always crawling backwards instead of forward. That particular morning, we were woken up by some protests from her as she was stuck in one corner haha. 

Baby-Led Weaning

BLW - forget purees and weaning spoons, simply let your baby feed himself. 

Like many parents, I started Hayley with traditional spoon-feeding. Later I thought it was pure fun to let her hold pieces of meat/fish/rice/bread to eat on her own. Also it was a good way to develop pincer grip.

A few benefits of BLW:

·         The baby is able to join in with the family during meal times.

·         Encourages the baby to be non-picky eaters.

However, beware. The process can be MESSY, not for the faint-hearted haha.

BLW starts young, once a child is able to sit up straight on his own.

I am not a trained Montessori teacher and I have only been a mum for over a year. However, in this blog, I hope to document my learning journey with my kids. It is always fun to look back how much they have grown =)