Be truly happy this Mother's Day

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ME! The past few months i have been feeling everything except happiness. After the birth of caleb, i was overwhelmed, stressed out, constantly crying or throwing tantrums. I dun see the cuteness of hayley anymore. I find her irritating, always getting into my way. Every morning when i wake up, i rush around to check chores off my list. 

0730: hayley wakes up. Feed her milk

0900: MAKE SURE hayley finishes 1 egg

1000: bathe caleb

1100: cook lunch

1200: MAKE SURE hayley finish lunch

Just the morning schedule makes me tired. I no longer enjoy looking after the kids. When hayley screamed "NO", i scream back, drag her, scold her. Then i felt guilty but my pride stopped me from saying sorry to her. We ended off with her forgetting about the drama that just happened and come smiling to me.

True, there are many sweet moments. But the stress i went through, only mr ahgohgoh knew. Cos sadly he is my 出气筒. 

Two weeks ago, he showed me this link.

http://foreverymom.com/family-parenting/when-my-child-lost-her-joy-rachel-macy-stafford/

This article truly describes what i have been going through! I am no longer the 20+year old young lady who laugh at every silly thing, who smile sweetly at my hubby when he comes home from work and does not have the time and energy to even spend 10min chatting with him every night. My face only shows impatience and my voice is full of sacarsm. 

The purpose of him showing me this article is not to scold me. He said his friend (also a mum) shared this on facebook and that she is going through this too. He wants me to know that all the feelings i am going through is normal but i really have to try my best to be happier. For myself and my kids. 

So this mother's day, i strive to take tiny steps to be happier and grateful everyday. Ironically, i have so much to learn from hayley, a two year old. She has such a big heart in this small body. She loves me with no conditions and forgives me in an instant. So i am going to be a happier mama, for her and for me!

Yea...haha

Happy Hatchday Hayley! You are TWO!

Dear Hayley, happy hatchday to you! You are TWO!

If age 0-1 is the year you learnt to discover the world, learnt to lift your head, flip over, crawl and walk, age 1-2 is the year WE learnt more bout YOU.

Your favourite color is pink. This particular top and bottom set, you wear it every weekend.

Your favourite cartoon character is Frozen, which you fondly know it as "Let It Go". We love how 陶醉 （走火入魔）you are when you close your eyes to sing the song.

https://youtu.be/GePqpekNzC0

You are a stubborn girl. The more we want you to do something, the more you will not do it. So whenever i say bye to you, you turn to your papa to say bye and hug and kiss him. Only when i walk away, i hear you shout "bye bye mama". Then i will walk back and you give me a kiss 😍😘 Your 阿嬷，姨姨s and 爸爸 say your this character is very like me. Whatever.....hahaha.

https://youtu.be/IUbAZjYtai0

You are the bravest girl i have ever seen. In the past month, you had gone through a few blood tests, put on a drip and stayed a few nights in the hospital. Even before you cried, your lousy mama was already in tears. When the nurse removed the needle from you, you even bravely held back your tears and looked away.

Hope you have enjoyed your birthday weekend celebrating with the people who see you almost every weekend and love you so so much.

I wish you always have the best of health and always be our silly and happy girl!

Love you,

mama