0730: hayley wakes up. Feed her milk
0900: MAKE SURE hayley finishes 1 egg
1000: bathe caleb
1100: cook lunch
1200: MAKE SURE hayley finish lunch
Just the morning schedule makes me tired. I no longer enjoy looking after the kids. When hayley screamed "NO", i scream back, drag her, scold her. Then i felt guilty but my pride stopped me from saying sorry to her. We ended off with her forgetting about the drama that just happened and come smiling to me.
True, there are many sweet moments. But the stress i went through, only mr ahgohgoh knew. Cos sadly he is my 出气筒.
Two weeks ago, he showed me this link.
This article truly describes what i have been going through! I am no longer the 20+year old young lady who laugh at every silly thing, who smile sweetly at my hubby when he comes home from work and does not have the time and energy to even spend 10min chatting with him every night. My face only shows impatience and my voice is full of sacarsm.
The purpose of him showing me this article is not to scold me. He said his friend (also a mum) shared this on facebook and that she is going through this too. He wants me to know that all the feelings i am going through is normal but i really have to try my best to be happier. For myself and my kids.
So this mother's day, i strive to take tiny steps to be happier and grateful everyday. Ironically, i have so much to learn from hayley, a two year old. She has such a big heart in this small body. She loves me with no conditions and forgives me in an instant. So i am going to be a happier mama, for her and for me!
Yea...haha
